Tony Watkins

Cedric, a founding member of the Headhunter Gang, used the Council complaint system all the time. It gave him complete anonymity and police protection. The Council did all the work and the ratepayers paid the bills. All Cedric had to do was laugh.

Mavis Yarall was murdered by the Auckland City Council.

Doug Armstrong, Chair of Auckland City Council Finance Committee, openly advocates city violence rather than a peaceful city, nuclear war rather than a nuclear-free city, exploitation of the poor through unfair trading practices rather than a fair-trade city, the encouraging of profligate waste rather than zero waste, and the destruction of the planet through unsustainable patterns of growth rather than sustainability. (Panache 7, December 2009)

In the old days the Mayor always had the road sealed outside his house. No one complained. The Mayor gave a lot of his life in community service and it only seemed fair that he should get something in return.

I must have looked dismayed when the building inspector asked for a geo-tech report. "Don't worry." he hastened to reassure me. "My brother and I run a little geo-tech business and we will be able to provide exactly what you will need over the coming week-end."

The reporter rang up to ask if he could come to Court to report on the hearing. I assured him that it would be extremely boring and was almost certainly going to be adjourned. "If you want a story" I suggested "then I have a much better idea as to how you might spend your afternoon."